Try Kissing it Better That was actually Great-Grandma.
Posts
Searching Handsome Bryce is graduating soon, with a master's degree in Mechanical Engineering, so we are spending a lot of time looking for jobs. Unfortunately every company, (except Disney) has the most user-unfriendly job search engine possible. So, if you see any good jobs for brilliant and handsome engineers, please copy the description by hand and mail it to me!
The Betrayal We've all been there, something horrible is on your hands. Maybe it is slimy, or drippy, or smells weird. Maybe it is all of those things. In this situation there is only one thought in every person's mind: Ah, the fluffy soft savior of all the folks who have ever found themselves in a messy situation. You run to the cabinet or drawer or closet where you will find solace from your mess. And then the worst thing possible happens: You turn into a gross soulless vampire! No! Worse than that even! The only thing in the haven of towels is a microfiber towel ! It's disgusting. It clings to everything that touches it, so it is covered in hair, weird lint, and unidentifiable miscellany. Your precious towel is not there to save you, so you prepare to leave in defeat. But that microfiber towel calls to you. Why surrender when it's there waiting to help? You think that perhaps it can help you after all. So you give it a try: NOOOOOOOOOOO! It doesn't absorb water! ...
McBaby is Famous Handsome Bryce and I had a talk with McBaby. You see, he'd been loafing around our house for two months and we felt it was time he got a job. "You are incredibly adorable," we said, "but you can't expect to get by on your good looks for your whole life." "Yes I can! I'll show you!" said McBaby, "I'll get a job as a male model!" And so he did: You can see him at: http://www.playhut.com/ Packages with his photos on them will be in stores this fall.
Waiting Last month I was grocery shopping when a little old lady stopped to admire my angelic baby. She started telling me about when she was raising children and about how worthwhile it is. I thought to myself, "How nice to have a conversation with this lady!" but then she leaned in, with her eyes all a-quiver, and said: I have explained before, I cannot lie if someone asks me a direct question. If I try to lie it doesn't fool anyone, so I just don't bother with it. So I said: Things really started to go south now. I was trying not to sound smug but she still seemed affronted. So she got some revenge. She was in a Jazzy, so right at stomach level, and she leaned in: Touche old lady, touche. But who could have expected this? It seems like everyone wants to warn me about the horrors I am in for. I am sure it will not always be perfect, but who can complain with a face like this to cheer you up? Too bad Katie Wetherbee wasn't there to stick up for me. I really liked...
Idiosyncrasies There is one area where Handsome Bryce and I are not just the same. Both Bryce and his mom have a different pause tolerance than I do. ( This very good article can tell you all about pause tolerances. ) I have a very short pause tolerance, while Bryce and Mom McEwen have a longer one. This isn't really a big deal because I recognize that their tolerance is greater than mine, which is understandable because I actually don't have any tolerance at all. Sometimes I notice it, but it doesn't bother me. It might bother other people though. Typos, however, are a different story. Anyone who has chatted with me on the internet knows I have three extreme "typing tics." Firstly, I am a comma fiend. The more commas the merrier. I also type the words "hee hee" incessantly. (I am troubled that the person I am typing to cannot see if I am smiling or not, so I am compelled to type "hee hee" to let them know I am smiling.) The worst, though, is f...
The Magical Sock Bun Boys, this post is about styling long hair, but before you close the window in disgust consider the woman in your life. Does she take ages styling her hair, overrunning your bathroom with doodads and many kinds of hair goop? This habit probably monopolizes the bathroom. Perhaps you have even been late because of it. This could be the end of your hairy problem! The sock bun is a bun with a sock inside of it. I used brand new never before worn socks because foot germs give me the creeps. (Don't even get me started on all the foot germs that live in carpet.) You cut the toes off the sock and then roll it into a doughnut, then you roll your hair around the doughnut. Sounds easy? Ok just watch this girl's video to see how it's done. She is a nice girl, but she talks a lot so feel free to start the video at the 2:27 mark. You put your hair in a bun right at the top of your head. (Boys this is also a bonus because you won't have to choke on itchy hair dur...
Happy Valentine's Day! I need to preface this Valentine's post with a Thanksgiving story: A few years back, Handsome Bryce and I were visiting my family for Thanksgiving. We were all getting ready to go to the movies. My mom wanted to see "Deck the Halls" (which by the way has a 6% freshness rating on Rotten Tomatoes JUST SO YOU KNOW) but I intervened, "No!" I said, "Let's see Happy Feet !" I foolishly cried. Alas, oh so foolishly. My mom wasn't sold, so I showed them this preview . Look at that, it looks adorable, anyone would want to see that, and everyone did. EVERY person in the family agreed that we should go see Happy Feet . So we did just that. We watched Happy Feet and it was a horrible thing. The cute penguins from the preview had only an incredibly minor part but other un-cute penguins having scandal time had a huge part. One even mentioned a "couch of perpetual indulgence". (I blushed, ashamed, in the dark of the theat...